Smiling Is Overrated

This morning I was again reminded that I don't smile enough.  People, friends and strangers, have been telling me this my entire life.  It's not that I'm an unhappy person, it's that my face's natural resting position is very neutral.  This fact inspires people to go to great lengths to "cheer me up."  As I'm sure you can imagine, this usually has the opposite effect on my mood.

After the janitor this morning tried to "cheer me up," I got to thinking about smiling and cheeriness.  Why is it that women are expected to be cheery and happy and pleasant all of the time?  Is it that women are expected to please people, especially men?  I had a job once where I was told that my work was excellent, but people wanted me to smile more.  I was friendly and pleasant, but they didn't like how I didn't smile all of the time.  I am never going to be a Sunny Smiling Suzy, and I looked around at my co-workers and I realized that there were quite a few men who were just as neutral in their expression as I was, but they weren't getting the "be more cheery" talk at their performance review.  For that reason, amongst others, I began looking for another job.

At my current job, I am rarely advised to smile more, but I attribute this to the fact that I work in a very male-dominated industry, and masculine traits are valued.  I'm one of the guys, for the most part, and much like when I was growing up, I imagine if you asked my co-workers, they would say that they think of me as a guy.  Perhaps if my role was one in which they would think of me as a woman, they might want me to smile more?  Perhaps, perhaps not.  My boss is on the gruff side, and what he cares about at the end of the day is that the work is done, in a professional way.  He doesn't care if I walk around all day with a smile on my face, or with a neutral look, or a scowl, what he cares about is that the work gets done.

This post is best read with R.E.M.'s "Shiny Happy People" playing in the background.  Why?  Because no one writes songs about pleasant, neutral people, working hard.